Ege Haber Column – Should We Teach Children Success or Courage?

One of the sentences I’ve heard most about children in recent years is this:

“I want my child to be successful.”

To be successful.

To get into a good school.

To have a good profession.

To make good money.

I was the child of a father who ran a corner shop and a mother who was a homemaker. My family worked hard. Really hard. For years, my father poured his effort into his shop, opening it in the morning and closing it at night. Their dream was for me to live a comfortable life.

That’s why they always said, “Make sure you have a good profession.”

Actually, they weren’t wrong.

Because the Turkey they lived in was different from the Turkey I grew up in. And the world today’s children will live in is something else entirely.

When I was a child, the formula for success was clearer. Good school, good diploma, good job.

Now when I look around, I see that the people who founded some of the world’s biggest companies are taking different paths. Professions change within a few years. Artificial intelligence is opening up new fields of work and closing down others.

But there is one thing that doesn’t change:

Courage.

Because we don’t know what jobs children will do in the future. But I’m sure of one thing:

People who know how to take risks, who come up with ideas, who can fall and get back on their feet will remain standing in every era.

When I was a child, my father used to leave me in the shop. Back then, I thought it was just about helping out. Later I realized he was teaching me to trust.

I remember one day crying because I couldn’t keep up with the customers.

By today’s parenting reflexes, we would have to rush in and rescue the child right away.

But sometimes a person needs to come face to face with small crises.

Because later on, life will do this in bigger doses.

Perhaps what we need to teach our children is not constant success, but the right to fail.

Instead of picking them up every time they fall, sometimes showing them how to get up.

Instead of solving every problem for them, sometimes letting them solve it.

Instead of clearing every path, sometimes being a signpost.

When I look back today, I see that what has contributed most to my life is not success, but courage.

Success usually comes later.

But courage…

You need it at the very first step.

And perhaps this is the greatest legacy we will leave our children:

That they learn to try without fear.

Because sometimes life rewards not the most successful, but those who can start over.

Source: Ege Haber ↗